Currently

Throughout this relationship i realized something. I been realizing i give so much into it and the other person doesn’t. I really don’t understand what i do how i do it or why this always happens to me. But obviously with this happening so often it is something with me. With that being said, it’s made me close of my love gate for anyone else. I feel i try to blame so many others for traumas they have and say that’s why they act the way they do but what about me? Idk i check myself often but idk. That shit makes me sick cuz it’s always mf i have the mist interest in. Then i feel dumb when i mention anything cuz they see it differently. Maybe i don’t luke their love styles but in this case, it’s the switch up for me. That’s honestly feel dumb af when i do shit for ppl. Cuz i don’t feel it is well received and swept under a rug. Idk I really wanna stop feeling that way but can’t.. i just a love that stays and last and doesn’t switch up. That’s nasty, nerdy, spontaneous and chill. One day i’ll find it i’m sure but i’m still in search of like pharrell